I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
