I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
