I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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