I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize