It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
