Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
