I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize