I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
