no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
