I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
