I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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