It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
