I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize