Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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