Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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