VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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