Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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