It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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