I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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