Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
