No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
