You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
