I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is the high leading the old right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
