You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
