census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
