oh god the rape fog is back!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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