remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
