I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
