So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
