it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
