Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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