I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize