Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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