i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
