so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
