Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize