I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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