shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
