eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
