You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize