I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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