are you still at the devil's house?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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