Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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