Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
