So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
