I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
