arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
