if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
