Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
