NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
