I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
