we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
