fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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