You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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