Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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