Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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