He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
