I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
