About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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