It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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