So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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