forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
