My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
