Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
