You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
