Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize