People in love make me want to vomit
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
