Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i think my cat just said my name.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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