I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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