So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
